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Showing posts from August, 2017

So The Ginger Likes Stitch

"This is your badness level. It's unusually high for someone your size." -Lilo      Lilo and Stitch is by far my favorite Disney movie.It has been for a long time. And the main reason for that is Stitch. He's evil, and adorable, and gross, and quirky. As a kid I always thought that he was kind of annoying, but I still liked him. Like in school there's always the kid who is just absolutely annoying and immature, but you still think they're alright. And they end up growing on you a little until the two of you are weird besties for life. Yeah, that's pretty much my feelings towards Stitch. I realized that might be because as I have gotten older I have begun to notice several similarities between Stitch and I. Over the past couple weeks, I've watched the movie at least 6-7 times (it's a go-to when I'm needing a little mood-booster) and as I've done so, I've listed out what Experiment 626 and I have in common. 1) Attitude. Borders be

I Want My Life Back

     I don't know if this is really much of a blog article compared to maybe a journal entry, but here goes anyway.      I'm sitting in my room, for the 3rd week in a row with no social plans. No friends to spend time with. Too scared to go anywhere by myself.      Don't get me wrong, I have friends, but not really "hang out" friends. We'll text and we'll see each other at church on Sunday's, but not much else. And I'd love to spend time with them outside of church, but I'm not really sure how to initiate. Or even if they'd be interested. So here I sit. Overwhelmed by a suffocating sense of loneliness. Scared to reach out to anyone for fear of being burdensome.      My social life and my friends. Just a couple of the many things that my eating disorder has taken from me.      In this very moment, I am very motivated to seek out recovery options again. I stopped getting help about 7 weeks ago. Again. Partly out of cost (no insurance, an

The Ginger Is Not Anti-Social *GASP*

I am an introvert. I have severe social anxiety. But no, I am not anti-social. Sound contradictory? Let me explain:      I am an introvert. I get my energy and feel most at home in a small, close-knit social group. I thrive in one-on-one conversation and interaction, but can also enjoy small group activities within my comfort zone. I tend to avoid huge parties, or being in large groups of people.      I have severe social anxiety. Introducing myself to groups of people makes my heart race. The thought of walking late into an activity, and feeling like everyone is looking at me, physically makes me dizzy. Going out in public (grocery store, museums, malls...) alone is not even an option in my mind because I become so petrified that I start to shake.      I remember being four years old, getting ready to go onstage for a 6 minute role I had in the community theater's production of The King and I. This was dress rehearsal, and there would be 3 additional showings after this.